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Blogs > rm_MamCsDawne > Just Me! |
Before I was a !!
Before I was a !! Manytimes before I was a I would go to sleep at night knowing that sometime during the night I would recieve a visitor in my room.. This became such a common occurance that I had no clue that what this man did was wrong.. I know this now but must write about it for my own sanity.. I must of been about 8 or 10 at the time when i tucked myself into my bed. I had just gotten a cute lil wirehaired named "Penny". I fell asleep this night as I did everynight to a cassette tape recording of my favorite songs.. I must of been asleep for a couple hours when I heard my dog "Penny" silently growling by my head.. i layed still cause i was afraid of what was to come although i had lived this many times.. My covers slowly moved off of my legs and uncovered my lower body to expose my legs and underware and the bottom of my Sleepin T-shirt. Penny growled in a deeper tone.. and i knew that it would only be a matter of minutes before the rest would begain.. first my underware was removed very gently as to not wake me.. little did he know i was already awake.. waiting for what i knew i had no contol over. I felt the weight of his body as he climbed up on my bed..and then i felt his manhood against my body... a sensation that a girl should not know at such a young age... This night was different though than the ones before.. Penny barked and then i felt her jump on my belly.. The man let out a quiet "damnit, that damn dog. God damnit" and then he stepped down from my bed and pulled the covers back over me.. and left the room.. It wasnt till the next morning that I had discovered that Penny was only protecting me.. Penny was my salvation and i didnt even know it. Penny had bit my Step-father. I dont know if my mother ever knew exactly what happend to him.. but i did.. and to me is was the funniest thing in the world..ha ha ha ha.. I loved that dog. |
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You spoke in another blog about not being able to remember details but you can remember much about _this_ time. I have much the same thing....I can remember very few details, but what I do remember are the few times when I got back at him. Caused him a little pain......and those are the times you hold onto and help you survive. I guess you could say I was lucky......I didn't live with my sexual abuser......but he was close enough to the family that he was there often. I now go months without ever thinking of him.......which is wonderful! He, like yours, is dead......and that brings some satisfaction as well. I've spent some time this morning reading your posts and some of the comments and I'm surprised that there aren't more women commenting.......Interesting....... I'd love to chat with you sometime.....and not necessarily just about this. *kisses* Sarah
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