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Blogs > rm_MamCsDawne > Just Me!

Before I was a !!  

rm_MamCsDawne 54F
201 posts
12/16/2005 4:59 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm
Before I was a !!
Manytimes before I was a I would go to sleep at night
knowing that sometime during the night I would recieve
a visitor in my room.. This became such a common occurance
that I had no clue that what this man did was wrong.. I know
this now but must write about it for my own sanity..
I must of been about 8 or 10 at the time when i tucked myself
into my bed. I had just gotten a cute lil wirehaired named
"Penny". I fell asleep this night as I did everynight
to a cassette tape recording of my favorite songs.. I must
of been asleep for a couple hours when I heard my dog "Penny"
silently growling by my head.. i layed still cause i was
afraid of what was to come although i had lived this many
times.. My covers slowly moved off of my legs and uncovered
my lower body to expose my legs and underware and the bottom
of my Sleepin T-shirt. Penny growled in a deeper tone..
and i knew that it would only be a matter of minutes before
the rest would begain.. first my underware was removed
very gently as to not wake me.. little did he know i was already
awake.. waiting for what i knew i had no contol over. I felt
the weight of his body as he climbed up on my bed..and then
i felt his manhood against my body... a sensation that a
girl should not know at such a young age... This night was
different though than the ones before.. Penny barked and
then i felt her jump on my belly.. The man let out a quiet "damnit,
that damn dog. God damnit" and then he stepped down
from my bed and pulled the covers back over me.. and left
the room.. It wasnt till the next morning that I had discovered
that Penny was only protecting me.. Penny was my salvation
and i didnt even know it. Penny had bit my Step-father. I
dont know if my mother ever knew exactly what happend to
him.. but i did.. and to me is was the funniest thing in the
world..ha ha ha ha.. I loved that dog.
OhioCpl15 58M/59F
36 posts
1/1/2006 8:26 am

 You spoke in another blog about not being able to remember details but you can remember much about _this_ time. I have much the same thing....I can remember very few details, but what I do remember are the few times when I got back at him. Caused him a little pain......and those are the times you hold onto and help you survive. I guess you could say I was lucky......I didn't live with my sexual abuser......but he was close enough to the family that he was there often.
I now go months without ever thinking of him.......which is wonderful! He, like yours, is dead......and that brings some satisfaction as well.
I've spent some time this morning reading your posts and some of the comments and I'm surprised that there aren't more women commenting.......Interesting.......
I'd love to chat with you sometime.....and not necessarily just about this. *kisses* Sarah


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