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Tired. Alone.
Tired. Alone. I'm so tired. So very, very tired… …of being hurt. …of getting my hopes up. ...of being disappointed. ...of being ghosted, rejected and the silence. I'm so tired. So very, very tired…. ...of men who feign interest. ...of dick pics. ...of men that only want to “hook up”. ...of feeling excited and the ensuing letdown. Now, I'm smart enough to know it's not just the men here. Part of it is me. I'm far from perfect and that brings up something else I'm tired of, wondering what's wrong with me? I yearn for a companion, a friend, a lover and a Dom. I so badly want to feel that spark, a connection and a mutual desire. But at that end of the day I climb into bed, alone, again and again. I've carried a quiet whisper inside of me for sometime now, refusing to believe it. Its tenacity has become increasingly alarming and something I fear. The end of my days will come, alone, without that which I so greatly desire, my friend, my lover, my companion and my partner. I'm so tired. So, very, very tired… ...of being unwanted. |
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5/27/2019 9:40 am |
The older I get the more I come to realize that the abstract jig-saw puzzle piece that fits me, doesn't exist. I've come to accept that thought, but I'm not sure if that's the best or the worst thing that can happen.
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