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The problem with "just be yourself"
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The problem with "just be yourself" This post is only viewable by citymixx.com members. Join citymixx.com now! Following my advice may cause injury, insanity, financial loss, hemorrhoids, death and superpowers |
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Or you could get angry at me for pointing it out, then cry yourself back to sleep. Following my advice may cause injury, insanity, financial loss, hemorrhoids, death and superpowers
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It's a catch 22 unfortunately. When you step too far outside the norms and expectations of society around you, you risk labeling and alienation. Resist the manipulation too much, rebel too hard, and you risk being alone and making finding mating partners even harder. Stand out (just enough) and people take notice. Go too far and you're "strange" or "wierd' or "that nutjob". Social success is defined by definition by social norms. The real problem you alluded to has nothing to do with a person understanding their place within social constructs. The real problem is that many many people don't understand themselves. It's hard to be comfortable "being yourself" without self knowledge.
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I mostly agree. But there are certain individuals here . . . yes here, whom, if they were actually their real selves could very likely never mate. At least within their own species. A survival of the fittest kind of thing.  When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
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that is a big one
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It's a catch 22 unfortunately. When you step too far outside the norms and expectations of society around you, you risk labeling and alienation. Resist the manipulation too much, rebel too hard, and you risk being alone and making finding mating partners even harder. Stand out (just enough) and people take notice. Go too far and you're "strange" or "wierd' or "that nutjob". Social success is defined by definition by social norms. The real problem you alluded to has nothing to do with a person understanding their place within social constructs. The real problem is that many many people don't understand themselves. It's hard to be comfortable "being yourself" without self knowledge. You are correct, it is about self knowledge. Following my advice may cause injury, insanity, financial loss, hemorrhoids, death and superpowers
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I mostly agree. But there are certain individuals here . . . yes here, whom, if they were actually their real selves could very likely never mate. At least within their own species. A survival of the fittest kind of thing. Following my advice may cause injury, insanity, financial loss, hemorrhoids, death and superpowers
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that is a big one Following my advice may cause injury, insanity, financial loss, hemorrhoids, death and superpowers
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I'd consider parental influence to be natural, compared to institutions like schools, political parties and religions. The line becomes blurred because our parents were also strongly influenced by the propaganda etc of their day. That's not to say that parents influence can't be negative, just that our ancestors who successfully mated also would have been influenced by their parents, it is part of the natural order. Following my advice may cause injury, insanity, financial loss, hemorrhoids, death and superpowers
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Who tells someone , Just be your self"? Your mom? ..... The girl/woman who won't have sex with you? The fact is a male younger than 25, "Just being himself" , won't work because....."Himself" is incomplete!! The reason why males have a hard time dating in their teens and twenties, is because he is jacked up on sex hormones and is an incomplete person, unable to be "Himself". "Himself" is not ready yet. Now an older man, over 30, if he is told, "Just be yourself" , that might not be good enough. He may have wasted too much time in his teens and twenties giving more of his time to personal relationships instead of putting his time , money , and energy into academics , and professional pursuits. "Just be yourself" , comes down to being a "Completed" man, or an "Incomplete" man. Guess which one is going to get the more favorable attention from women.
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Logically "just be yourself" should be solid advice for being able to meet someone. .... Only when , "Being yourself", is projecting a "Completed" man, or a man showing great potential to become "Completed". All your ancestors successfully mated, with no books, videos, dating coaching, websites etc. .... Yes, "Our ancestors", but there were trillions throughout history who never mated. Those who never mated, had problems attracting a mate. You are genetically programmed to do it [mate]. ... True, but women are not genetically programmed to want to mate with losers. But it happens , right? Well this is because sometimes losers find each other. As everyone who has been in the military knows, thorough training overrides instincts. .... Yes, and practice makes perfect , or at least , "Much better",.... Lots of people, men and women, are afraid of rejection, so they don't practice. Everyone in our society has been subjected to relentless efforts to manipulate you and shape your thinking. ... That's true... and as an example, of relentless efforts to manipulate and shape societies thinking , it's gay pride weekend. We demanded this. ... No we didn't demand it.... Powers-at-be found that the best way to handle millions and millions of people was to "Control" how they think. it doesn't work well on everyone, and most people resist to some extent but the effect is still pervasive. .... And thanks to President Trump [making it a little less pervasive] bringing back Free Speech [free thinking] to college/university campuses, people can once again speak out against manipulation that may seem screwball, without fear of being removed from the Campus. Being socially programmed really doesn't effect your chances of mating. That's clearly obvious. But maybe effects who you would have mated with, instead of the person you're now with. Learning to think for yourself, makes you [for now] an oddity, but more interesting. Anyway, to , "Just be yourself"...... In life, "Yourself", requires work, and if that work is not done, then your chances of mating becomes very slim.
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