The Chronicles of Special K
For fifteen years I was a club DJ as well as a Karaoke host and went by the name Special K so why not dust that name off and use it one more time. Starting as of today 12/23/19 I will be telling the story of how I went from an awkward and painfully shy teenager to who I am now.
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How To Tell Their Not A Real Dominant
Posted:Oct 28, 2019 6:51 am
Last Updated:Dec 23, 2019 6:48 am
One of the most asked questions I get by new submissive's is, "How can I tell if he isn't really a dominant." I've been on nearly every kink or fetish site known man and have talked hundreds of women first starting the lifestyle and the one resource often missing is a way weed the fakes. I have spent years perfecting this list I am going post here and it does the trick nicely judging how angry some posers get when you them on their bull shit. By all means you can copy and paste it keep handy. Enjoy and I hope just one new sub reads this and it keeps her safe from a predator preying on new subs know no better.

*Fifty Shades Of Grey is the best movie ever. We all know it sucked.
*They have fifty two point five pictures of their dick but no direct face pic.
*Their vanilla wife says they aren't a true dom.
*After care is a mythological concept they know nothing about.
*They tell you submission is expected. False, it's earned.
*They tell you your opinion is not needed or wanted. WARNING he might be a narcissist.
*They don't know the difference between obedience and submission. Submission requires respect and admiration. Obedience doesn't require either one.
*If they throw a temper tantrum because you used a safe word. Douche move.
*He demands you him Sir or Master from the moment you meet. You’re a submissive, not his submissive. I advocate being respectful until he gives you a reason not be, but anyone who demands a title before it’s earned needs be ignored.
*He sends you unsolicited instructions of how please him or orders obey. Did you talk about this list? Was there communication and consent? If not, this is just another poser.
*He ignores your hard limits. Don’t just walk away from this loser, run. Ignoring your clearly identified and communicated limits is the sign of an asshole and an abuser. A Dominant will push your limits, sure, but not without first talking you – a lot.
*He starts an introduction with a dick pic and or making sure you know how large his member is. Dominance is about deep voice with authority. Dominance is about how they carry themselves. put this the simplest of ways and easily understood if you know your craft you can dominate someone just as effectively with a four inch pecker as well as you can a ten incher.

About two years ago I was scrolling through posts on a well known fetish site when I came across the most blatant show of false knowledge ever. Picture a 24 year old stating he had been a dominant for ten years. So this shit for brains started dominating girls before he was even legally able drive.

Be careful ladies and use the guide.
Posted:May 13, 2020 7:57 am
Last Updated:May 27, 2020 10:31 pm

Then one day I woke up and opened up fetlife like the old days and started reading some stuff here and there. As you may know, if you've been a follower for some time is, I haven't been writing at all. I guess I just wasn't inspired. When I was writing daily on here I wrote about things near and dear to my heart at the time. The issue was I had written about so much I lost my way and my personal identity in the community started to be defined by what my peers thought about in the interactions I was having with fetlife members.

The fetish and kink community has changed since the advent of social media and loosening of what can be seen in a movie and not seen. Between the two the community has grown at an alarming rate and is much more visible to the general public.

Before the advent of social media and the good old interwebs, the kink and fetish community grew only due to the word of mouth we tended to have a very low number of sexual offenders and predator's in our midst. It happened from time but back then they couldn't hide behind a computer screen so they typically were quickly seen for what they were and run from the community pretty damn quick.

My second theory is something to think about for awhile but with today's movie industry doing movies about kink and fetish compounded by the fact that you can become a well known blogger on any topic you choose and claim to be an expert without to prove you actually know anything about that topic you see all out verbal assaults on forums and pages like fetlife nearly all the time. Now we can't agree on anything.

I've been in the community long enough to remember the pre internet day's. When you were talking to someone about the lifestyle you knew they were a practicing member of the community. Vetting in those day's was just done even if we didn't exactly see it as vetting back then.

In today's community it seems there are any number of experts no matter the particular kink or fetish quick to tell someone they aren't doing it right. Who made them the great and all knowing expert? It seems you can just say it in your profile and that make's it so.

Last night just after my nightly phone convo with my significant brat I thought back on the topic of the evening and I thought back to a small room years ago where a Master Rigger was doing a pubic tie as well as a question and answer session. He was an Asian gentleman in his late fifties and you could tell he knew what he was doing.

He answered two questions that hit me last night as a great ah ha moment as the memory of that night ran through my head.
"How did you learn to do all this?" was the first question.

It's been many years so I will just give you the basic answer because I can't paraphrase due to age lol. He was a mechanical engineer and when he started getting into it he threw his mechanical knowledge into the art of rigging. There is a science to it so just watching something done once and believing you are ready to try it may lead to injury or worse. I remember thinking finally us nerds were the go to folks lol.

The second question is my main point.

"Generally speaking in BDSM, how do you know you are doing something right?"

Again I'm old so this is not his exact answer word for word.

You ask the other member or members of your dynamic. If you think about rigging for example and you ask me about the correct way to do a certain tie on your partner the mechanical engineer in me will tell you I can't because of the variable's involved and physics. If my rope bottom enjoyed the session and I enjoyed doing the rigging then I did it right for us and that's all that matters.

What usually leads to bad scene's or situations is nearly always due to a lack of communication in the dynamic.
TWC might be what you need
Posted:May 3, 2020 2:18 am
Last Updated:May 27, 2020 10:31 pm

I was just going through some pics of a gorgeous TV somewhat local when I came across the obligatory BBC pics with her. Now I don't want to get anything started but I happen to know it's not usually pleasant to have your cervix moved about half a foot upwards.
Let's, just for a few minutes, go back to health class as well as biology and what I know about the female body as well as the male body.

When it come's to the typical female body most of the pleasure centers for the vagina all seem to congregate near the opening and not twelve inches inside. The g spot is about four to five inches inside and slightly upwards so a long skinny dick isn't going to do much for her physically other than move her cervix to the bottom of her stomach. I am going to scientifically say eight inches is that is needed in length make her roll her eyes. That is if he has girth. Most smart women know this be true.

When it come's a bi or gay male bottom most of the pleasure centers for anal is split between the ring and the prostate. Like the g spot a woman the prostate is usually only four. Just like the female body, a good eight inches with some good girlth is going make that tranny roll her eyes backwards before a skinny ten incher any day.

Twice in my life I made a bet that changed someone's life. About ten years ago I was told by a new girlfriend that I hadn't slept with yet. She told me about a guy's length and how he was the only one that had made her sore because of his ten inch cock. I told her that if she was sore the next day she had to cook me the dinner of my choice and btw I am only eight inches. she thought it was going to be an easy win for her but the next day she called and admitted she was sitting on an ice pack.

The other bet was with a transexual female I was dating. Before we slept together that first time she admitted to being a size queen and liked the lump I seemed to have. I made the bet that if I blind folded her that first time and she could guess my dick size afterwords I would clean her house nude. she guessed ten inches and when I took the blind fold off She knew she had lost.

I am around eight to eight and a half hard but and a half thick and that is the key everything. As a bi guy I have gotten into the habit of looking for girth markers when I look at a guys dick pic. The big tell tale marker is finger joints. If the width is covered by only one or one and a half finger sections then you are going to be unhappy. It's simply physics really.

My thick white cock should have a porn catagory of it's own.
TS/TV and why I have such a fondness for them
Posted:May 1, 2020 5:26 am
Last Updated:May 27, 2020 10:31 pm

I guess you could say it was a dear penthouse night but it was almost twenty years ago that a smart woman changed my thought process's.

As I have said from time time I was one of Indy's most successful Karaoke hosts and yes you get groupies from time time. For some it's the spotlight syndrome and for other's it's having attention paid them in public for once in their live's.

quick definitions for this piece.

Spotlight syndrome is when a woman is so bound and determined be the center of attention at a bar that they attempt attach the person that is taking that spotlight from them. Most cases it's either the lead singer of a band or the DJ etc. I personally find this type be single rather than married.

The other type is usually married a guy that acts like she has the plague when they are in public. I have caused more divorces than I care admit just by making a woman feel special in a crowd of people.

As I said, twenty years ago I was working at a bar as a Karaoke host and found myself most confused by a single woman. I thought she was taken so for the first month or I treated her with class but indifference. One night I saw her at the back of the room with nobody but herself and her bloody mary. I made my way her table in short order and asked her where her old man was. She looked at with a twinkle in her eye as she chewed on her lower lip, we all know the look, as she tried decide her next move.

Her next move didn't take but a few seconds but it changed my life forever. She grabbed my shirt and pulled into one of the most passionate kisses I have ever taken part in.

I found out that the guy that was always with her was just a friend she worked with and I had been the focus of her for some time. She was curvy and always well dressed showing the right amount of leg and cleavage and her voice was like honey.

That kiss was like opening pandora's box for us both and it wasn't five hours later I was following her into her apartment after a much needed breakfast.

The second I turned the deadbolt clothing was flying and the most miraculous thing happened. I had kissed down her naked warm back in the dark and paid some very soft oral attention to her ass. As I reached under to slip a finger into her pussy I found a cock as hard as steel, small but proud, waiting for my touch.

I know for a fact that was the second she had been dreading. What If I freaked and left? It's every TS/TV's nightmare moment almost each and every time. To be honest I had no idea what I would do if I had ever come to that moment on my end but to my surprise I still seen her as a woman I had to have. Yeah she had a cock but I seen it as a big clit. She carried herself like a woman of class, dignity, and beauty and no amount of dick hanging between her legs had a chance of changing that in my mind. I dated her for years and cherish every bit of that time in my life.

This brings me the big difference . There are some that really work at being who they feel they are on the inside and it's not easy. It's a ton of work and dedication. I remember a few months ago coming across a cam vid on a porn site of a gorgeous eighteen year old blond TS. I watched it with a hell of a growing hard on until she spoke. She had a deep ebonics laden voice that would better match a white rapper from the inner city. My dick said hell to the no.

It's the dedication to what they want other's to see, hear, and feel when they are with them that matters to me.
Are they being honest?
Posted:May 1, 2020 3:32 am
Last Updated:May 1, 2020 3:42 am
It started off in middle school. I remember riding home with a group of people from a band event. This thick girl that already had a set of d's was making out in front of of us with a guy in the van. What I felt during that trip home was the first time I can remember suffering from a carnal need to have what he was playing with. Knowing now that I am an empath make's me believe I felt their desire for each other on some level but she wasn't the typical bean pole type that us eighty's folks believed to be the perfect female build.

Our sexual taste's are built upon our childhood experiences. I was molested by a female baby sitter when I was about 3 years old. She made eat her pussy in exchange for ice cream if I remember right. She was thick built, although I have never been able to see her face. It seems that nearly every woman I had puppy love for as a young had thick thighs with those pretty eyes.

1) first porn that made horny as shit was a thick redhead squirting.
2) First girlfriend that made me feel like I was going loose my mind if I didn't get to have her was a thick tanned brunnette named Donna.

the signs were there but being a good looking guy I ended marrying the tiny little things with no curve's because that's what us x gen's thought we were supposed to find hot.

One night about fifteen years ago I was facing a divorce for the third time in my life from a no curve's having blonde when I hooked up with a thick dark latina with light eyes. A cute face is a thing for me for sure but I remember when I grabbed her thick hips as she rode me I felt a carnel desire I hadn't felt since I was in that van back in middle school.

Since that night with that Latina baby doll I said no more following the rules of society. I've been much happier but beinjg a member of the fetish/kink community I've noticed a trend that really bothers me.

When I was about seventeen I remember my greatgrandmother telling my sister to never trust a man with a hard on because they will say anything to get their dick wet and as a man I can say it's probably true to a point. I see these men pop up on site's like this one going after what they see as a desperate middle aged and thick built woman just hoping get their dick wet.

First of all it'ss wrong to lie just to benefit but secondly I wonder how many of those lying SOB'S later think back and come the realization that the best sex they ever had was one of those women.?

I spent way to long not being happy so to those men lying to get a quick load off step back. Some of us genuinely like them and we've gotten tired of you ruining their live's and making it so utterly hard for them to believe someone would actually want them.

We want you and those thick thighs and pretty eyes you have. I don't hide that I love you thick girls. It's in my profile. The one's that are feeding you a line of crap probably don't have that distinction in writing. Here's your sign.
why did I become a cam model anyway?
Posted:Apr 30, 2020 6:22 am
Last Updated:May 27, 2020 10:31 pm

The short answer is I am horny all the time. I don't like the simple reason. I have spent most of my adult life thinking I was bad boyfriend or husband material because of my high sex drive.
Let me put this into perspective for you. I am going to be fifty next Jan and I still have the drive I had at eighteen. I can get hard and get off multiple time's a day without a problem one. I half joke that a little blue pill would kill me. It probably would actually lol.
I am now at the point where I am tired of feeling like I am broken. I just need to find someone I jive with that would cherish my high sex drive but until then I have gotten back into cam work. I've been testing some ideas here instead of my main site. Most cam site's are over run with streamers right now due to the covid pandemic and this site has a better mix of men to women than cam site's due so here I am.
Stereotypical cam modeling
Posted:Apr 29, 2020 8:00 am
Last Updated:Apr 30, 2020 3:34 am

I can't believe I typed that title either but it's true. I've been doing cam work off and on since the conception. Everything perverted and wonderful in this world has evolved and changed. That is except for cam work. The problem I believe is most male performer's think they have to play bi curious to make money. I've made money, more than most think, playing to women.
If you think they aren't out there in big numbers you're blind. Women watch nearly as much porn as men now although not for as long per session. lol. I totally think the ombod stuff should have as many options for men as it does women. It's totally skewed. On here I am going to be testing an idea. if you hit the bod button I change the camera angle for thirty seconds. Let's see how many pervy women are out there.
Am I really a Dominant?
Posted:Apr 17, 2020 9:21 am
Last Updated:May 27, 2020 10:31 pm

There seems be sides my personality. On one hand I have spent years in the BDSM community learning, observing, and discovering who and what I was. I landed in the dominant section of things but then the other side of myself get's involved.

The big sign that I was at odds with myself is my inability watch BDSM porn. If I don't know for sure the actress had a safe word I will spend the entire time I watch the scene hoping she did.

Even though I like take charge in the bedroom I still respect my sub as a person. I can't dominate someone I don't have romantic feelings for and trust me I have tried.

Maybe I am just nice be a Dominant.
So what's the deal?
Posted:Dec 31, 2019 1:12 pm
Last Updated:May 27, 2020 10:31 pm

I should be writing but somethings been bugging me on here. Why are there so many female accounts on here with one pic and a short profile written in broken english? I think It might be Isis or possibly antifa. All joking aside I do wonder about the drove's of them. other curiosity is all the female accounts with RN their name's. Right NOw?
The Chronicles Of Special K Installment One.
Posted:Dec 24, 2019 12:10 am
Last Updated:May 27, 2020 10:31 pm
I made the changes to my profile this morning in hope's to finally start this blog but I found myself wondering how to start this long story of my sexual awakening and transformation. Most people would tell to start the beginning but it's not that easy. There are two beginnings. Both were life altering for far different reasons so I spent all doing chores and such debating it inside my head. The thing that became clear to me is I wasn't being fully honest about how it all began unless I told both so get your popcorn, find a comfy place to sit, and follow me down memory lane.

I was born January 8th 1971 to two people that couldn't have been more opposites. My father was raised by his grandparent's simply because his couldn't be bothered. She didn't leave him either. She lived within minutes of her parents. She just didn't want to be bothered with raising her . Her was an evil spiteful woman with cherokee blood that should have made her a good person but that other part of her was something dark. His grandfather was a mystery to almost everyone that knew him. I never seen him carry on a conversation nor had anyone else. He was quiet and hard working and obviously had to have a dark side to stay with great grandma for fifty plus years. What came of that was my father the narcissist mental abuser with the worlds shortest fuse i've ever witnessed to this . He should have never been a father but part of forgive's him because he had no real positive influence growing up.

My was a complete opposite. She's loving and compassionate and her only real flaw was she was raised in a somewhat pampered way by her stepfather. Her real father molested her and Nanny, my grandmother and her mother, kicked his alchoholic ass to the curb. She was a social worker and only one of two people from either side of the family I would to this consider a near saint. My didn't know how to struggle and always wears her colored glasses. A time or two in the past few years I have referred to my father as the narcissist and she says she didn't see it and if he was mentally abusive to me I should have spoke up. She just wasn't capable of seeing it.

I think you might be getting the picture already. My father had a that seemed to be nothing more than someone he could take his life long hatred on and my was to closed off to see it. What made it worse for was the two people that raised and the that didn't want to raise him doted on and my sisters. Yes I have two sisters and he treated them nothing like he treated . The people that would drive him by the orphanage and tell him if he wasn't a good it's where he would have to go live treated very well so that made him even more resentful of . You might be asking worse but what was the beginning of that hate. I spent years trying to put that piece of the puzzle into place with no luck until someone that had been my mothers friend back then contacted me.

"When your mother had you she held you for dear life and exclaimed she finally had her ," was her comment.

He was jealous. Looking back with the puzzle fully together I think we should all be lucky he didn't end up a serial killer. He is bi polar I am sure and always has been. Growing up with a father that had such a short fuse and violent temper I became a master of not being seen or heard. It's the reason I grew up so painfully shy. It also gave me the ability to avoid conflict and rejection with skill as well as a keen observational ability that paired with my empathic abilities, unknown to me as a ,gave me an uncanny ability to pick of a crowd the woman that had a higher than normal sex drive and a love for kink. It's the reason I have had sex with over two hundred women at my best estimation without having to flirt or use pick up line's. I simply reach out with my empathic abilities to find the woman in the room that would fuck me and place myself in her field of vision and let nature take it's course. The way I see it I believe it's a super power given to me to make up for a hood where I lived in fear throughout.

Trigger warning, sensitive section.

I said there were two first time sexual experiences that helped to shape who I became and the first one was when I was three years old. Although I have suspicions I have never been able to put a to her but my story when my mental block finally dropped was it was the neighborhood sitter. The woman that I can't put a too would bribe to get to lick her pussy. No not going to confirm my suspicions because this point it serves no purpose. The other reason is I didn't feel violated until I was made to feel violated.

For the next years life was uneventful on the sexual end although looking back now I did find erotic pictures stimulating in a way I shouldn't have at such a age. the age of I puberty and the older of my two sisters did as well , two years than . We did what any two similar aged siblings do when they go through puberty at the same time and have to much time alone to themselves. not glorifying it and I am not getting into it in depth but again neither of us felt like we had done anything wrong all until someone else told us we did. Thank goodness the therapist my demanded to see told it was normal and I shouldn't feel as if I had done something wrong. We were left alone together much of the time and because we were so close we explored our new feelings and changing bodies together and our parents should have counted themselves lucky it went the way it did. We are still close but that was a short period of oddness that did bond us.

That period was very short and no we didn't continue a life long anything. It taught me something valuable. I learned from that experience that you can't judge something as bad without knowing the whole story.

From the age of till eighteen I read and read and read everything from the kamasutra the age of to probably over two hundred penthouse forum style books. My virginity remained until I was eighteen but I estimate I masturbated as much as a zoo monkey but I learned from what I read. Contrary to the old saying I didn't go blind because at eighteen my sight was twenty . I will those years the fapping years. I gained a lot of knowledge before most boys or men and one early afternoon a few weeks after graduation it off.

It was the summer of 89 and I was working Hardee's, just starting , and had a my age give her . She was forward and carefree and the type of that went for who she wanted and I was it. She was tall for a , probably five , and had a muscled vollyball player build with a plainish , blonde hair, and a nice ass.

Okay for the sake of being thorough I don't know why but I have a serious fixation with asses. Like I said, I don't have a type and it's evident in my wide range of partners through the years. The smallest was a red head that weighed an even ninety pounds and my fascination with her was at that tiny of a build her ass still had a booty . The largest was Carol just shy of four hundred pounds but her ass still held a nice round bubble shape that size. Back to the story.

As I said she was forward and after just two phone conversations she pushed the envelope one and I found myself with her in my bedroom. She had no shame as she stripped naked, laid on my bed and waited as my eyes locked on her light brown fur covered pussy.I must have staired almost to the point of creeping her because she brought too with a loud clearing of her throat. I was nervous, shaking, sweating and single minded.

When people talk in the bdsm community it's often asked when you first knew what you were and looking back on that afternoon I smile and know that was the first time my dominant side came . As I said, I had a single focus and that was to get my mouth on her pussy and when I pushed past the nerves I dove in. I knew you started out softly and my cock hardened as her moans met my ears. It drove me. She tasted better than any substance known to me and as my tongue occasionally sank into her woman hood I drank her juice like a fine wine. Her leg's started to shake and from my study of the female orgasm knew she was about to climax. When I felt her legs stiffen completely and her ass raise off the bed I reached both arms across her torso and slammed her back down on the mattress while capturing her clit in my mouth and sucking hard. I kept my central fucus on her clit pushing her through one, two, three orgasms until I felt her whole body fall limp. She was mumbling half in and out, obviously she had passed out, as I crawled up her body and sank full length into her hard bring her out of her haze long enough to push her into another orgasm as I shot an entire teenage life's build up of anticipatory into her body.

My was due home any time and I kept on her to get dressed as she just kept looking with the grin of a woman that had just had the sex of her life. I got her down to the living room just a few minutes before mom returned from the store. She still had that damn grin on her and as we started to walk to the door she stopped, turned around, and ran up the stairs. To my horror she came back down carrying her shoes and her panties. I was caught but she was still in that blissful haze without a care in the world. My was pissed but to my amazement never punished me or brought it up.

The first time I had sex with a woman I had instinctively taken a dominant roll because I knew I could and would blow her mind. I knew what to give her that she didn't know how to ask for. We didn't date more than two more times but it was the first in a long line of women that came into my life that for no other reason than I was to change their sex life forever.

My next installment will pick up from there touching on my first experience with a man but until then this is Special K saying keep it safe yet kinky folks.
Safety is the key when looking for a Dominant
Posted:Oct 22, 2019 7:23 pm
Last Updated:Oct 29, 2019 2:50 am
It's never been easy to find someone safe to play with when you delve into the kink arena and it's getting worse and worse. For every one guy that is a legitimate Dominant looking for a sub there is five predator's using your need to serve as a way to find his next victim and for that very reason there are steps you need to take to assure yourself that you will be safe in your search.

Before we get to the actual meeting I am going to give you a short list of things to look for that are instant red flags or signs he is looking to violate your consent. Most are pretty easy to spot.

1) If within the first two or three messages he demands that you him sir or master. If he take's his title seriously then he understands he has to earn your submission rather than demand it.
2) If he only want's to meet you at a motel. First he's probably married and the wife knows nothing about his Citymixx and there is no second. Most predators in this lifestyle tend to always want to meet at a motel.
3) If he wants to play with you without knowing your hard limits then run bitch run. Don't let anyone ever tell you that you don't have a right to say no to anything. A hard limit is something you won't do such as scat. A good dominant won't mind playing within your limitations.
4) This one will probably cause a debate but if he doesn't have one single pic on his Citymixx then be very leary. Some will say it's because they want discretion because of a career and that's valid but they could still send you a pic in a private message. I don't the discretion crap because they are on a site dealing with a lot of kinks to begin with and Suzy christian isn't going to be on Citymixx.

Looking for the red flags will many predators but not all so now it's time to go through my safety 1 list. and if you follow it like a law you will more than likely get the rest of those dick heads of your world.

1) Always set up that first meeting in public with well lit parking areas and plenty of people around with security cameras also in use such as eateries and the like. Cockroaches like the dark remember.
2) Ask them for a copy of their ID. Yes some will throw a major fit but this is your life on the line. Have this with you and make sure they like the picture.
3) set up a safety with a close friend. Make sure your friend has a copy as well of his ID and know's exactly where you are going. They will you a specified time and if you don't answer they will contact the authorities with the ID you gave them a copy of and where you were going.

It's a simple three step system that if you remember my slogan will allow you to finally delve into your deepest fantasy's without the fear. My slogan isn't hard to remember but sometimes hard to follow but well worth it in the end.


going to be straight with you and say most predator's don't want to put a ton of effort into getting you alone but some might be willing to go through with the meeting on your terms thinking that maybe they can get you to leave there and go where they can violate your consent. If you for the red flags and stay the course on the three step safety list and of course remember the motto you will be safe and that's your one objective.

Until I write again, Your Loving Dom.

Play safe.

To link to this blog (LovingDominant71) use [blog LovingDominant71] in your messages.

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Most Recent Comments by Others

Post Poster Post Date
Stereotypical cam modeling (2)japaneseass
Apr 29, 2020 11:35 am
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Nov 2, 2019 8:46 am
Safety is the key when looking for a Dominant (3)1seeking1
Nov 2, 2019 7:34 am