How to fight loneliness  

Platosgames 96M  
459 posts
8/28/2018 2:45 pm
How to fight loneliness


I was driving around today listening to my eclectic list, and the song by Wilco came up. How to fight Loneliness. And as is my nature, it got me into overthinking a situation.

I've been what I refer to as "Happily Divorced", for about 13 . During the last 13 , I've had a few Semi-LTR, but mostly just FWB's. I was asked by one, if I ever get lonely. I replied with, often alone, but rarely lonely. I go to the beach during off season by myself for a couple of days. Just to be alone. Do some fishing, reflect on my life, and just enjoy the solitude.

That said, there have been times when I start to feel lonely. Start thinking maybe I need to rethink my position on finding a LTR. Someone to spend time with, grow with, explore the next stages of life with. Of course then I get a nagging reminder. While, humbly, pretty good at most things I do, I absolutely suck at picking the right woman. It's like I have a broken lady picker, and a crazy lady magnet embedded somewhere within me. So in the past, when I did have a time of loneliness, the results of my finding a partner in crime just drove me further into, thinking it's better to be the solitary man. (another good song) Though lately, the nagging has been slowly rearing it's ugly head.

So for all the single people here, or those in a relationship can answer as to when they were single.

Do you find yourself lonely most of the time, or just alone?
Do you find yourself, forcing a relationship, that you know probably won't work, just so you're not alone?
Anyone just absolutely set on the idea of riding out the rest of life alone, with some "friends" along the way?

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member"


Platosgames 96M  
949 posts
8/28/2018 2:46 pm

Lyrics to How to Fight Loneliness by Wilco.

How to fight loneliness
Smile all the time
Shine your teeth to meaningless
And sharpen them with lies

And whatever is going down
Will you follow around
That's how you fight loneliness

You laugh at every joke
Drag your blanket blindly
Fill your heart with smoke

And the first thing that you want
Will be the last thing you'll ever need
That's how you fight it

Just smile all the time
Just smile all the time
Just smile all the time
Just smile all the time

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member"


Tmptrzz 55F  
48959 posts
8/28/2018 3:00 pm

Great blog, you know I think we all have a crazy meter sometimes, and it's not really about that. I was married to my first husband 14 long abusive years and because of my children I stayed way longer than I should have. And I only knew him a few months.

My marriage now I knew him a while as we became friends first, and lived together for over a year almost two before we decided to make it permanent I think it depends on the person and we all have good and bad in us and I think the thing is we need someone to balance each of us out, if that makes sense..

Just your average every day run of the mill nana here!!!


Enchanted3000 43F  
156 posts
8/28/2018 3:06 pm

“solitude” emphasizes the glory of being alone.

“Loneliness” emphasizes the pain.


positively4you 69F  
2772 posts
8/28/2018 3:16 pm

I have been a widow for 20 yrs. My husband loved to say, life is better when shared. And he was right. You know those who are married like 4 times or more? I wonder about them. Like, how do you do that? Is it like shopping? You just go out and pick a new one? I can’t just go with just anyone. Something has to be there. I also go to the beach alone, and a movie and dinner. At times it is lonely but not always. I learned that I prefer to be alone than with mr wrong and miserable. I do see it is a major agenda for some to find that person. I am not there. If he finds me, ok, if not, I’m ok, too. But what I miss is not the sex so much, it is the intimacy, the hugs.


Platosgames 96M  
949 posts
8/28/2018 3:17 pm

    Quoting Tmptrzz:
    Great blog, you know I think we all have a crazy meter sometimes, and it's not really about that. I was married to my first husband 14 long abusive years and because of my children I stayed way longer than I should have. And I only knew him a few months.

    My marriage now I knew him a while as we became friends first, and lived together for over a year almost two before we decided to make it permanent I think it depends on the person and we all have good and bad in us and I think the thing is we need someone to balance each of us out, if that makes sense..
Thanks Tmptrzz. I'm sure you're right about everyone having a crazy meter, but I truly excel at it. haha.

Your post also brought to mind a thought, are there any that stay in a relationship they're not really happy with, but hate the thought of being alone?

I've always liked the idea of balancing each other better than the other analogy's.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member"


positively4you 69F  
2772 posts
8/28/2018 3:18 pm

    Quoting Enchanted3000:
    “solitude” emphasizes the glory of being alone.

    “Loneliness” emphasizes the pain.

Love that. Good explanation.


Platosgames 96M  
949 posts
8/28/2018 3:19 pm

    Quoting Enchanted3000:
    “solitude” emphasizes the glory of being alone.

    “Loneliness” emphasizes the pain.

I think that's a great description.
My mind though gets moving at times of "is it really as glorious as I think it is being alone".

Thanks for the response.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member"


Platosgames 96M  
949 posts
8/28/2018 3:25 pm

    Quoting positively4you:
    I have been a widow for 20 yrs. My husband loved to say, life is better when shared. And he was right. You know those who are married like 4 times or more? I wonder about them. Like, how do you do that? Is it like shopping? You just go out and pick a new one? I can’t just go with just anyone. Something has to be there. I also go to the beach alone, and a movie and dinner. At times it is lonely but not always. I learned that I prefer to be alone than with mr wrong and miserable. I do see it is a major agenda for some to find that person. I am not there. If he finds me, ok, if not, I’m ok, too. But what I miss is not the sex so much, it is the intimacy, the hugs.
Wow, and yet another aspect I didn't think of. Being widowed is obviously a totally different ball game.
I wonder about the multiple marriages as well..not just remarried. My dad obviously couldn't stand the thought of being alone and remarried 4 times after being married to my mom for 17 years. I remember thinking, Dad,what the hell are you doing.

I'm with you completely on the last two points. I would, could and just might ride it out alone, rather than end up with the wrong person again. And yeah, the sex part isn't that hard to fill, but finding the intimacy is probably what gets me back into the mindset of looking.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member"


positively4you 69F  
2772 posts
8/28/2018 3:36 pm

I may sound a little jaded but I think men want to remarry more than women. For the sex of course, but I also think they miss the taking care of them, cooking, cleaning, etc. And women, (me), find it liberating to not have to take care of him in that way. I took care of 2 husbands and a father in law for a bit. So, well, I don’t want to pick up after another one. Oh hell, I may be doomed.


superbjversion2 63F  
12430 posts
8/28/2018 3:50 pm

I've been widowed for 15 years and dating now for 8. I have had several long term (or 2) and multiple disappointments. Even when I am alone though, I rarely feel lonely. I don't just do dinner, movies and the beach alone - I go to museums, fairs, festivals, concerts, and vacation all alone. I have discovered that having company for those activities is pleasant but I have gotten so use to doing what I want, when I want that I doubt I will look for anything more than another FWB.

I put the Sex in Sexagenarian


Platosgames 96M  
949 posts
8/28/2018 4:02 pm

    Quoting positively4you:
    I may sound a little jaded but I think men want to remarry more than women. For the sex of course, but I also think they miss the taking care of them, cooking, cleaning, etc. And women, (me), find it liberating to not have to take care of him in that way. I took care of 2 husbands and a father in law for a bit. So, well, I don’t want to pick up after another one. Oh hell, I may be doomed.
LOL, you may be right, on the men vs women thing and remarrying. Though I keep finding women who want me to marry them. I"m just not there.

I loved your ending line. and I don't blame you. Though even when i was married, I did most of the cooking. Been single for a while now, so used to cooking and cleaning up after myself. One could say I'm almost housebroken now.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member"


alohashirt50 68M
200 posts
8/28/2018 4:03 pm

I am often alone but never lonely.
Your profile picts show that you have a friend just like I do, I have a Gresch, but also have pan flute, harmonicas, so I;m never lonely. Plus a 30 to 100 mile views of the Nevada desert. yeah for me lol


pocogato12 66F  
21973 posts
8/28/2018 4:08 pm

I have been divorced since 1991(nasty) and was not looking forward to being back in the single pool again. But I find I actually enjoy it. I can read when I want, go book shopping, meet a friend for a meal, do nothing all day if that's my mood, and went to Oregon alone. That would have been fun to share to adventure with someone who likes to explore but I cam away with my own memories. I do not think I have ever felt lonely when I knew I was alone. The worst times are Christmas time due to family heartache long ago but I get through it. I like my own company ( maybe someone else might some day) and i have plenty to entertain myself- My life is good!!!

(Virtual Symposium Group) use Virtual Symposium Group


Platosgames 96M  
949 posts
8/28/2018 4:08 pm

    Quoting superbjversion2:
    I've been widowed for 15 years and dating now for 8. I have had several long term (or 2) and multiple disappointments. Even when I am alone though, I rarely feel lonely. I don't just do dinner, movies and the beach alone - I go to museums, fairs, festivals, concerts, and vacation all alone. I have discovered that having company for those activities is pleasant but I have gotten so use to doing what I want, when I want that I doubt I will look for anything more than another FWB.
See, while I'm not widowed, I agree with and even resemble your remarks. I do a lot of stuff alone, I do hang out with friends, but I'm just rarely "lonely".

The end line is what I tell people a lot of times, cause it seems all my friends and kids want me to hurry up and get remarried. I like the fact that if I want to get up on a Saturday and drive to the beach, I do it. If I want to lay in bed watching a movie that morning instead, no one's telling me we should be doing something else.

While that is selfish, it isn't lost on me that any relationship demands both sides give. I wonder if I would find it hard to give up those freedoms for any length of time. At 96, I'm getting sort of set in my ways.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member"


tresennui 63F  
2226 posts
8/28/2018 4:47 pm

Such similar thoughts lately. Been divorced 15 years. In and out of a variety of relationship, different degrees of FWB. Sometimes look back and wonder if I would have made more of an effort they could have turned into something more.

Got pre-occupied with family stuff (some health issues, some just like to hang out together). I did the independent woman who prides herself on doing things and going places on her own and now want a friend/companion. I stopped trying to find someone, was complacent with the casual relationships I had. Now as I am older and when I think I am ready for something more substantial, I cannot seem to find anyone.

Tresennui
Succumbing to Curiosity...read me at tresennui


Platosgames 96M  
949 posts
8/28/2018 5:01 pm

    Quoting alohashirt50:
    I am often alone but never lonely.
    Your profile picts show that you have a friend just like I do, I have a Gresch, but also have pan flute, harmonicas, so I;m never lonely. Plus a 30 to 100 mile views of the Nevada desert. yeah for me lol
Yeah, it's amazing how much time I can sink into my relationship with the Martin. She's easy to get along with.

Music has a way of soothing emotions, but when I start writing, it can also bring a lot of them to the surface. Enjoy the view and thanks.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member"


Naughtypursuit 51F  
1360 posts
8/28/2018 5:03 pm

I cherish my alone time. I cant say that I have ever been lonely. I sometimes think it might be nice to have someone around full time, but only if they would respect my alone time.

"Loneliness is the poverty of soul; Solititude is the richness of self"


Platosgames 96M  
949 posts
8/28/2018 5:07 pm

    Quoting pocogato12:
    I have been divorced since 1991(nasty) and was not looking forward to being back in the single pool again. But I find I actually enjoy it. I can read when I want, go book shopping, meet a friend for a meal, do nothing all day if that's my mood, and went to Oregon alone. That would have been fun to share to adventure with someone who likes to explore but I cam away with my own memories. I do not think I have ever felt lonely when I knew I was alone. The worst times are Christmas time due to family heartache long ago but I get through it. I like my own company ( maybe someone else might some day) and i have plenty to entertain myself- My life is good!!!
You know I really don't know you, with the exception of chatting/blogging here. But if I were to go out on a limb, I'd say you're a well balanced lady. Happy , healthy and enjoying life. I'm not sure anyone can really ask for too much more than that. The holidays can be rough, true. But luckily my kids are around me, so it's never quiet.

In regards to someday. I think I'd say it to you. I hope you find what you're looking for, or when you least expect it, it finds you.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member"


Platosgames 96M  
949 posts
8/28/2018 5:17 pm

    Quoting tresennui:
    Such similar thoughts lately. Been divorced 15 years. In and out of a variety of relationship, different degrees of FWB. Sometimes look back and wonder if I would have made more of an effort they could have turned into something more.

    Got pre-occupied with family stuff (some health issues, some just like to hang out together). I did the independent woman who prides herself on doing things and going places on her own and now want a friend/companion. I stopped trying to find someone, was complacent with the casual relationships I had. Now as I am older and when I think I am ready for something more substantial, I cannot seem to find anyone.
I agree. I have one lady, that we were what we called Exclusive FWB's. Sounds like neither of us wanted to admit to anything serious. Her job moved her away, but we still talk to this day...and we're still friends. Just no benefits. We talk sometimes, still skirting the real issue, about how far we'd have gone if she hadn't moved. And we both weren't so skittish about LTR.

I know for a fact that I don't need anyone to complete my life or me, but at times these days, I wonder if there aren't spaces that are missing. Places that could be filled with someone.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member"


littlebbwfairy44 44F  
43 posts
8/28/2018 5:57 pm

divorced for 9 years , few LTR between now and then , enjoy being alone with in frequent loneliness, if another LTR happens more power to me , im not going to actively seek it , going to keep enjoying my ME time


Platosgames 96M  
949 posts
8/28/2018 5:58 pm

    Quoting Naughtypursuit:
    I cherish my alone time. I cant say that I have ever been lonely. I sometimes think it might be nice to have someone around full time, but only if they would respect my alone time.

    "Loneliness is the poverty of soul; Solititude is the richness of self"
Great quote...I'm writing that one down.

And yeah see I think that's where I always end up. I do enjoy my alone time. At times though I feel like the proverbial cow..the grass, green stuff and all that.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member"


Platosgames 96M  
949 posts
8/28/2018 6:08 pm

    Quoting Heathen_G:
    How to fight loneliness .....
    -Get away and go do something you enjoy.

    Someone to spend time with, grow with, explore the next stages of life with. .... That's the conceptual idea of propaganda society tells you, but really , isn't necessary.

    and a crazy lady magnet ...ha.. yes, the kind who ask if this is pretty, and you say no, and she gets all upset and mad at you.

    Though lately, the nagging has been slowly rearing it's ugly head. .... Find Tom Leykis online.... he may be able to kill that nagging ugly head.

    Do you find yourself lonely most of the time, or just alone? .... Alone [at times], but never lonely. Really quite calming.

    Do you find yourself, forcing a relationship, that you know probably won't work, just so you're not alone?.... If you find yourself doing that, you are not going to be of any good to that person. Maybe you should consider getting a dog.

    Anyone just absolutely set on the idea of riding out the rest of life alone, with some "friends" along the way?.... These days? Riding out life "Unattached" isn't such a bad idea, when you consider the nonsense that's out there. Especially if you've raised your children and you are finally divorced. You've done your bit . Go have some fun now.

    Social propaganda tries to make people feel bad or miserable for not being attached to someone, because there's lots of corporations standing to make lots and lots of money if people try to get attached. ha... even in the ruin of that attachment, there's money to be made.

    So relax.... go do something fun. In the past, when I've felt lonely, I buy a ticket for somewhere in the world I've never been before, and go exploring. The women you can meet on these "Journeys" can be amazing.

    So when you start hearing that nagging ugly shrew [voice] telling you , you are going to die alone..... smack it. Don't buy into the propaganda.
Ok, I've seen/read a few of your posts on here, so I'm gonna assume you're the kind of guy that can handle honesty.

I think most of your response is jaded by something. Not sure what, but honestly really doesn't matter.

That said, a lot of what you said is spot on. I agree, society tries to tell us what we're supposed to do. When I was young I followed it. Have to have that six figure job, have to find a wife. Have to have some kids. And I did it all.

These days the voices that i listen to are mainly just mine. I don't do anything because people tell me too. I have no desire to "fit in". I'm just me. But to not listen to ones self, when you can discern fact from fiction, is a recipe for disaster.

thanks for posting. I will say, you're always interesting.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member"


Platosgames 96M  
949 posts
8/28/2018 6:10 pm

    Quoting littlebbwfairy44:
    divorced for 9 years , few LTR between now and then , enjoy being alone with in frequent loneliness, if another LTR happens more power to me , im not going to actively seek it , going to keep enjoying my ME time
I think that's actually a healthy attitude. forcing the issue just never works out well for anyone.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member"


cinnamon0133 53F  
16532 posts
8/28/2018 6:37 pm

    Quoting Heathen_G:
    How to fight loneliness .....
    -Get away and go do something you enjoy.

    Someone to spend time with, grow with, explore the next stages of life with. .... That's the conceptual idea of propaganda society tells you, but really , isn't necessary.

    and a crazy lady magnet ...ha.. yes, the kind who ask if this is pretty, and you say no, and she gets all upset and mad at you.

    Though lately, the nagging has been slowly rearing it's ugly head. .... Find Tom Leykis online.... he may be able to kill that nagging ugly head.

    Do you find yourself lonely most of the time, or just alone? .... Alone [at times], but never lonely. Really quite calming.

    Do you find yourself, forcing a relationship, that you know probably won't work, just so you're not alone?.... If you find yourself doing that, you are not going to be of any good to that person. Maybe you should consider getting a dog.

    Anyone just absolutely set on the idea of riding out the rest of life alone, with some "friends" along the way?.... These days? Riding out life "Unattached" isn't such a bad idea, when you consider the nonsense that's out there. Especially if you've raised your children and you are finally divorced. You've done your bit . Go have some fun now.

    Social propaganda tries to make people feel bad or miserable for not being attached to someone, because there's lots of corporations standing to make lots and lots of money if people try to get attached. ha... even in the ruin of that attachment, there's money to be made.

    So relax.... go do something fun. In the past, when I've felt lonely, I buy a ticket for somewhere in the world I've never been before, and go exploring. The women you can meet on these "Journeys" can be amazing.

    So when you start hearing that nagging ugly shrew [voice] telling you , you are going to die alone..... smack it. Don't buy into the propaganda.
Go GET A LIFE YOU MOTHER FUCKING ASS WIPE.

Treat Me Like A Angel And I Will Show You What Heaven Is Really Like


Platosgames 96M  
949 posts
8/28/2018 6:55 pm

    Quoting cinnamon0133:
    Go GET A LIFE YOU MOTHER FUCKING ASS WIPE.
LOL, that was far less subtle than my response, but certainly to the point.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member"


Platosgames 96M  
949 posts
8/28/2018 7:06 pm

After cinnamons post, I'm thinking of a next post. hahaha.

Overall, let me just say. A lot has changed on this site since I was here last. a few years ago now. Yeah, the blogs have a lot more pictures. Some of those are pretty hot. The advice line is crap now, it used to be fun. Of course the things that didn't change are all still here.

That said, most of you that are regulars on here are some damn fine people. I see more intelligent, interesting, funny, and thought provoking posts and responses than i remember from the past. But again, at 96, maybe my memory isn't that great anymore.
The sex is great, but it's you people that make it fun. I like fun.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member"


cinnamon0133 53F  
16532 posts
8/28/2018 7:22 pm

I apologize for my outburst at heathen on your blog, he is rude, nasty and degrading to all and, well, he is a ass WIPE in my opinion lol
Anyway, I was married for 10 years. Two beautiful daughters. When it ended it ENDED badly. Long story short he put a butcher knife to my throat and told me if he couldn't have me know ONE could. No, I'm not lonely, it's very rare.
I would love to have time alone, I need it, I crave it, a I turn bitchy if I don't get time alone. Everyone needs time alone.
I'm not looking for a man. Ltr don't work for me, my life is far too chaotic , NO man would willingly walk into my life 😂 I would definitely question his sanity 😂
I have been playing with strummingfingers for 4 years. I'm in a long term no strings, tons of fun thing. Don't get me wrong, I care for him , you can't play for as long as we have and not care but there are no illusions, it is no strings. We are both happy with what we are. I have no intention of leaving.😉

Treat Me Like A Angel And I Will Show You What Heaven Is Really Like


Platosgames 96M  
949 posts
8/28/2018 7:43 pm

    Quoting cinnamon0133:
    I apologize for my outburst at heathen on your blog, he is rude, nasty and degrading to all and, well, he is a ass WIPE in my opinion lol
    Anyway, I was married for 10 years. Two beautiful daughters. When it ended it ENDED badly. Long story short he put a butcher knife to my throat and told me if he couldn't have me know ONE could. No, I'm not lonely, it's very rare.
    I would love to have time alone, I need it, I crave it, a I turn bitchy if I don't get time alone. Everyone needs time alone.
    I'm not looking for a man. Ltr don't work for me, my life is far too chaotic , NO man would willingly walk into my life 😂 I would definitely question his sanity 😂
    I have been playing with strummingfingers for 4 years. I'm in a long term no strings, tons of fun thing. Don't get me wrong, I care for him , you can't play for as long as we have and not care but there are no illusions, it is no strings. We are both happy with what we are. I have no intention of leaving.😉
I believe in never having to say you're sorry for what you truly feel. While I try to be non confrontational these days, anyone can see he's just a misogynist. Not saying I feel sorry for him, because we're all allowed to overcome our weaknesses. It's his path to walk.

I am truly sorry to hear about your "ending" . I'm the most easy going guy you could meet, until you confront me with a guy hitting a women or child abuse. Then the old being raised by a Airborne drill sergeant comes flying out. I hate it, won't stand for it and don't tolerate it, in any form.

Stay happy, stay true to yourself and you're feelings and you'll rarely go astray. If I may add though, don't let the past distract you from your future.

I enjoy your posts and look forward to our next discussion. Thanks for sharing.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member"


positively4you 69F  
2772 posts
8/28/2018 9:06 pm

You and one other are the most engaging male bloggers here. Very refreshing.


Platosgames 96M  
949 posts
8/29/2018 4:33 am

    Quoting positively4you:
    You and one other are the most engaging male bloggers here. Very refreshing.
Thank you. That's very nice of you to say.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member"


ghostrider1544 62M
248 posts
8/29/2018 12:54 pm

The worst kind of lonely is lonely with someone .


Platosgames 96M  
949 posts
8/29/2018 1:43 pm

    Quoting ghostrider1544:
    The worst kind of lonely is lonely with someone .
I'd have to agree. I lived that for a while , way back when.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member"


Platosgames 96M  
949 posts
8/29/2018 3:20 pm

    Quoting Heathen_G:
    anyone can see he's just a misogynist. .....

    Misogynist: a person who dislikes, despises, or is strongly prejudiced against women. ....

    That's not me, and certainly not "Just a ".

    Stating opinions on topics on here, disagreeing with some women, and disliking some of the women on here, does NOT make me, you, or any other man, a misogynist. Troubled women slander men with that word an awful lot because it's easier to throw a fit, than communicate rationally.

    Are we to think women, such as herself, is a misandrist?

    [misandrist : a person who dislikes, despises, or is strongly prejudiced against men.]

    No, that would be ridiculous. She's just all upset with me.

    So think for yourself.
First, I always think for myself. If you can't see that you're not trying. Next, I also don't base an opinion off of any one thing anyone says or does. I've seen enough of your posts, responses to base a projected opinion.

I could take your comment and flip it, troubled women slander men, could just as easily become, troubled men slander women. One could ask, why is she upset with you.

I'm not telling you how to live, how to act. You gotta be you. But again, thinking for myself? I'd say you make a lot of prejudicial statements about women not to be jaded in some form. That didn't even take much thought, just reading your responses.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member"


Platosgames 96M  
949 posts
8/29/2018 4:41 pm

    Quoting Heathen_G:
    One could ask, why is she upset with you. ... Oh I know exactly why. Maybe tell you about it sometime...But I won't mention that here. Have a good day.
Fair enough. You have a good night.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member"


helen_damnation 55F  
2332 posts
8/29/2018 5:01 pm

By the end, I found marriage lonelier than being alone. Apparently not an uncommon situation.
I always needed plenty of alone time. I do my own thing. Its satisfies most of my wants and needs.
I do wish I had learned to play guitar. I have one hidden in the corner that I swore would teach me. Maybe someday I will get to it again. Till then I will just keep singing to myself.

I am the only Me you get.


Platosgames 96M  
949 posts
8/29/2018 6:57 pm

    Quoting helen_damnation:
    By the end, I found marriage lonelier than being alone. Apparently not an uncommon situation.
    I always needed plenty of alone time. I do my own thing. Its satisfies most of my wants and needs.
    I do wish I had learned to play guitar. I have one hidden in the corner that I swore would teach me. Maybe someday I will get to it again. Till then I will just keep singing to myself.
I agree, I feel less alone being happily divorced. And yeah, though I get times of thinking I should share life with someone..I also wonder how I would do if I couldn't get alone time.

On the guitar. It's never too late to start. There are tons of online sites these days to help you learn. Justin Guitar is a good one. It will take you from not even knowing what a guitar looks like to playing any style and type of music you enjoy.

Thanks for posting

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member"


yesmamallthetime 51F  
9192 posts
8/29/2018 7:59 pm

Very thought provoking post. I have not had a relationship in almost two decades. I have really missed out on a lot of things in life. I will spare you the reasons. LOL I am alone most of the time. I would say the loneliness hits me at some point of everyday. I do have the unconditional love of my companion animals. As weird as it sounds I feel less lonely with them.

Stimulate my mind with words of poetry. And my body will follow it's lead...


Platosgames 96M  
949 posts
8/30/2018 9:17 am

    Quoting yesmamallthetime:
    Very thought provoking post. I have not had a relationship in almost two decades. I have really missed out on a lot of things in life. I will spare you the reasons. LOL I am alone most of the time. I would say the loneliness hits me at some point of everyday. I do have the unconditional love of my companion animals. As weird as it sounds I feel less lonely with them.
I think some people feel loneliness more than others. It can be a horrible emotion, and can drag on everything good in our lives.

Not weird at all with the pet thing. Pets are proven to be great companions that can help with being alone. Just not a complete replacement for that human contact though.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member"


BeverD829 47F  
92 posts
8/31/2018 8:20 pm

I was engaged in my early twenties , he passed away the week before our wedding . After that for so many years I tried dating , but it always came down to the guy there just wasn't him . I spent twenty years with a handful of LTR but I could always see the eventual end within the first few weeks , but I kept trying because I bought into what society said I needed to be fulfilled as a woman . It was once I joined this site , I found a wonderful man . We started out just as friends , but each boundary crossed so naturally . About a month after first connecting with him ...we spent an entire night talking . I felt I was home , all thoughts of the man I was engaged just simply melted away . I finally felt at home again . I let this man get away from me , and I had lied to myself that another man was a better fit . I did finally come to my senses ...and it was due to the song 18th Floor Balcony by Blue October , all the memories of having someone make me feel so safe , so sure , so warm , and so loved ...so I returned back to my home , and was the best thing I have ever done for myself . Ty for the thought provoking post

now just for you

You must be at least 42 to ride this ride


Platosgames 96M  
949 posts
8/31/2018 9:42 pm

    Quoting BeverD829:
    I was engaged in my early twenties , he passed away the week before our wedding . After that for so many years I tried dating , but it always came down to the guy there just wasn't him . I spent twenty years with a handful of LTR but I could always see the eventual end within the first few weeks , but I kept trying because I bought into what society said I needed to be fulfilled as a woman . It was once I joined this site , I found a wonderful man . We started out just as friends , but each boundary crossed so naturally . About a month after first connecting with him ...we spent an entire night talking . I felt I was home , all thoughts of the man I was engaged just simply melted away . I finally felt at home again . I let this man get away from me , and I had lied to myself that another man was a better fit . I did finally come to my senses ...and it was due to the song 18th Floor Balcony by Blue October , all the memories of having someone make me feel so safe , so sure , so warm , and so loved ...so I returned back to my home , and was the best thing I have ever done for myself . Ty for the thought provoking post
No, thank you for the response. That was a emotionally gripping post that described a lifetime in a few lines. I truly hope you find peace and the love that you seek. Not just some reasonable facsimile that fills a void

thanks for sharing..

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member"


BeverD829 47F  
92 posts
9/1/2018 10:50 am

Ty ....I am not going to put expectations ahead of me , but I found my home , I strayed for a bit . Lucky for me my home always leaves the light on .

I used to put so much stock in terms like the future vs the here and now . Growing , learning that the here and now is what is important , to just fully embrace it , and enjoy it to the fullest . I fell for the thoughts of what the future could be , and lost sight of what was right there in front of me .

now just for you

You must be at least 42 to ride this ride


Platosgames 96M  
949 posts
9/1/2018 1:13 pm

    Quoting BeverD829:
    Ty ....I am not going to put expectations ahead of me , but I found my home , I strayed for a bit . Lucky for me my home always leaves the light on .

    I used to put so much stock in terms like the future vs the here and now . Growing , learning that the here and now is what is important , to just fully embrace it , and enjoy it to the fullest . I fell for the thoughts of what the future could be , and lost sight of what was right there in front of me .
I like to say, always remember your past, look to your future, but if you don't pay attention to where you are , here and now, you're going to miss some of life's greatest moments.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member"


ISOAZN 42F  
10 posts
9/8/2018 8:44 am

Sometimes surrounding yourself with friends fight off that loneliness.


Platosgames 96M  
949 posts
9/8/2018 10:08 am

    Quoting ISOAZN:
    Sometimes surrounding yourself with friends fight off that loneliness.
Very true. I'm rarely lonely, but when I get that way, I surround myself with friends and family. I'm also good at, like the song says, smiling all the time.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member"


chrissy20073 58T  
7 posts
9/18/2018 8:04 pm

great blog I would like to add my opinion on this I was married for 37 years and had a good marriage ]my wife passed about 12 years ago after that I did and was feeling alone and lonely but kind of got used to it . After a few years of this I was ok with it and being alone was ok feel lonely sometimes most around the holidays but kind of learned to be alone . Now my daughter moved in as she is getting a divorce and now I think or feel that I am alone and lonely if that makes sence


Platosgames 96M  
949 posts
9/19/2018 7:17 am

    Quoting chrissy20073:
    great blog I would like to add my opinion on this I was married for 37 years and had a good marriage ]my wife passed about 12 years ago after that I did and was feeling alone and lonely but kind of got used to it . After a few years of this I was ok with it and being alone was ok feel lonely sometimes most around the holidays but kind of learned to be alone . Now my daughter moved in as she is getting a divorce and now I think or feel that I am alone and lonely if that makes sence
Yeah it does make sense. Sometimes you can feel the most alone, around someone else. You realize you don't have that intimate connection with someone.

" I refuse to belong to any organization that would accept me as a member"


chrissy20073 58T  
7 posts
9/20/2018 11:09 pm

Yes think that makes sense ty When the people around you are driving you crazy and making you depressed makes a lot of sense


Become a member to create a blog