keithcancook's Fables
|
Posted:Jul 29, 2011 3:00 pm
Last Updated:May 30, 2021 10:49 am
71134 Views
|
Once upon a time, a nation found itself in the middle of a rickety rope bridge above a deep dark chasm. The whole nation agreed that they were in great danger, and needed to get off that bridge before the old twisted threads which suspended them snapped from the heavy load.
Half of the nation wanted to go left. The other half wanted to go right. As they argued the hours away the rope broke, and they all plunged into the abyss together.
The End.
|
|
|
21
Comments
|
|
keithcancool
|
Posted:Jun 29, 2011 6:24 pm
Last Updated:Jan 6, 2014 10:32 pm
67115 Views
|
From the beaches to the mountains, whatever it takes to stay cool...
I sure do love summertime swims, don't you?
blog on!
|
|
|
21
Comments
|
|
King Of The Ocean
|
Posted:Jun 20, 2011 4:40 pm
Last Updated:Mar 24, 2015 11:51 pm
64454 Views
|
Hi ! I'm back in South Florida for a few days, and it recalls to me a story. So here once more is the true tale of The King Of The Ocean.
When keithcancook first saw the sea as a lad, it made a lasting impression on him. It seemed as if he had found the edge of the world, beyond which lay mystery and adventure. When he first learned to swim he went into the sea to learn its ways and discover its mysteries. Yet he could not seem to get very far into it. Each time he ventured in, the sea hurled him back to shore. Time and time again he tackled the sea only to find himself washed back to the sandy beach.
He soon discovered that the sea had no master, and that within its realm mere mortals were at its mercy. Undaunted, he continued to test himself, to show the sea that he was unafraid, and to inflate his own sense of strength and independence. He hurled insults at it, shouting at the top of his lungs. Yet the roar of the sea was louder than he, and the winding wind carried his puny cries to that place where unheard sounds are sent.
He tried to show the sea that he was strong, and used his football skills to tackle and block the mighty waves as they came crashing in. Yet the seas parted and passed around him as he threw his body against the endless rush.
He attempted to ride the waves, to have them serve him as his chariot to the shore. In this he was more successful, and soon he was gliding gracefully on top, racing in to shore just ahead of the cresting wave on which he rode feeling as Superman, flying through the heavens.
Every year he would return to the sea, and each time he would shout his insults, bash his body sideways into the crush of an oncoming swell, and ride the tide on in to shore. And in his mind a legend was born. The legend of the King of the Ocean.
I AM the King of the Ocean. I tell myself this every time I enter in to my domain. I ride the waves until I can ride no more, and though battered and bruised, I remain unconquered.
|
|
|
5
Comments
|
|
Lunar Ecstasies
|
Posted:Jun 14, 2011 8:17 pm
Last Updated:Dec 20, 2012 2:13 pm
64421 Views
|
What is it about the full moon that entices me so?
That big moon that follows wherever I go?
Bringing thoughts of the Asian of long ago.
Now, into my mind they all cum in cascade.
Lovers from memories, like movies they played.
As under the full moon young keithie got laid.
On through the years which no longer pass slow.
Full-moon fucking he could never outgrow.
Even tonight there's a full moon aglow.
(if you want to cum fuck me, just say "hello")
|
|
|
8
Comments
|
|
Who Is mzhunyhole?
|
Posted:Jun 1, 2011 7:47 pm
Last Updated:Aug 15, 2013 11:35 pm
69496 Views
|
Hello my fellow BlogLanders. A rather recent member to our community is curious to know of the famous blogger mzhunyhole. With controversy swirling among supporters and opponents of various front page bloggers, and our newbie member herself rising on that very list, I wonder if some of you can help me tell stories of that most beloved of bloggers. And why we all love her so.
Perhaps the ways of the honest hunyhole (I think that was what she called her blog), would be well to be remembered in these chaotic blog-times we find ourselves in.
I loved the way mzhuny wrote. Her style was folksy (she hails from Kentucky), and it made me feel I was sitting in the room with her chatting, rather than home by myself reading.
She always asked a question at the end of her posts, inviting us to interact. And we did in droves.
She wrote from her soul, it reached out to me. She wrote about sex a lot, and was not embarrassed about it. She was frustrated with her love life, and yearned for a special man the whole time she was here. She tried dating a few bloggers, but only found heartache in the end.
She loved the community that BlogLand was, and did much to foster a communal spirit in her blog, and in the comments she made to the blogs of others. She welcomed every new blogger she encountered, and she encouraged their blogs.
She was rarely negative, and when she was she made it into a self deprecating sort of joke. She did not say negative things about other bloggers.
She did not desire the fame she found here, but she handled it with poise, and used it to make this place better for all bloggers by setting such a good example.
She wrote many hundreds of posts between 2005 when the blogs began, up to 2009 (I think). I wish I could find where her blog has gone.
I know many of us here have benefited from interacting with mzhunyhole. How has she helped you? What were the things about her that kept her as the top blogger for as long as she blogged?
Blog on, mzhuny. Wherever you are. 
|
|
|
13
Comments
|
|
The Queen Of BlogLand
|
Posted:May 31, 2011 10:27 pm
Last Updated:Apr 30, 2014 7:13 pm
58413 Views
|
In my mind there has been only one true Queen of the blogs, a friend to all BlogLanders, our own mzhunyhole.
blog on!
|
|
|
5
Comments
|
|
Can You Spare A Square?
|
Posted:May 29, 2011 10:11 pm
Last Updated:Feb 22, 2017 4:19 pm
69115 Views
|
I like to think that I am not a wasteful individual. That my ecological footprint upon the earth can be minimized with a bit of resourcefulness. After all, I had read on a tree hugger website that if everyone in the world lived like a U.S. citizen, we'd need over five planets to support ourselves.
So, I'm thinking I should be able to improve. To make my footprint ever smaller. (Never smaller than a size 13, though. That would be too painful). I could be a bit more conscientious recycling my garbage. I could be more diligent in purchasing products made with the "greenest" technology possible.
Then I thought of my dear old dad. He taught me my earliest lesson in frugality. I can still remember him telling me that I shouldn't use more than eight squares of toilet paper per poop.
Yep, eight squares. I had never really counted before, but he was pretty intent that I understood that my limit was to be eight squares.
I remember a few things occurred to me at the time.
First, it would be hard for him to prove it if I went over the prescribed portion. 
Then, I thought that on occasion, a person had to use more than eight squares for some situations. Like, what about the times when you think your done, but after you wipe up (using all eight of your squares), you suddenly realize that you aren't as finished as you thought you were. Does this constitute a new poop? Did I earn eight more squares? Or am I SOL? 
Perhaps the rules could be stretched to mean eight squares for each little log? That would make it easy. A person could crap with pleasure, complimented with a wipe up without worry.  Especially if you have those machine gun poops where they pinch out in hard little balls. Then again, that's no help really. Those hard little ones generally require less paper anyhow, don't they? 
And what about if I am pooping in another place? At a friends house, or in a public restroom? Do the eight squares follow me wherever I go? (Okay, they do. But hopefully somebody will tell me there are squares on my shoe). 
And, (horrors), what about diarrhea? Surely it takes more than eight in those situations. Right? 
Then there is the problem of pile. No, not the poop, rather the ply of the paper. If you have 2-ply paper, then you have a real shot at the squareness. If you have Charmin, that's really good. Gawd help you if you end up with single ply. Like Scott. 
In a pinch, such was the poopy pondering of that potty puppy, the young keithcancook. It's all true, I shit you not! 
Don't forget to flush, and
blog on!
|
|
|
22
Comments
|
|
|
|
My Blogging Manifesto
|
Posted:May 23, 2011 5:14 pm
Last Updated:Apr 26, 2013 9:11 pm
47691 Views
|
What a surprise! My return to BlogLand coincided with a Blog War. Oy.
Anyway, these thoughts occurred to me as I observed reactions to the fray...
I do not agree with the idea that bloggers should be pressured into writing anything they don't feel comfortable with.
I do not agree with the concept that not writing something in public constitutes the same thing (or is even worse), as actually declaring something in public.
I do not agree with the idea that bloggers should be investigated by other bloggers who then post about their offline lives.
I am not comfortable with bloggers making medical diagnoses of other bloggers' mental health to explain their blogging behavior.
I do not want BlogLand policed by the righteous.
blog on!
|
|
|
18
Comments
|
|
Robekized!
|
Posted:May 23, 2011 11:04 am
Last Updated:May 25, 2011 3:25 pm
44043 Views
|
Yes friends, I've been hooked. I am so addicted to these fruit smoothies from Robeks that I grow weak when without them.
I drink them six days a week, and that for almost a year now. I swear I get an instant euphoric feeling every time I taste them.
I have some whey protein mixed in, and off I go. Yummy.
So, how are you guys getting fruit into your diet? I don't rely entirely upon fruit smoothies for fruit. Especially with summer upon us and fresh fruit everywhere!
Still...I want a smoothie right now!
blog on!
|
|
|
11
Comments
|
|
Bloggish Evolutions
|
Posted:May 16, 2011 7:49 am
Last Updated:Aug 25, 2015 6:47 pm
45883 Views
|
Cool. You don't need to enter a number before commenting on a post anymore. 
The login page is a lot busier than it used to be under the former management.
I reckon I will find some more changes as I reacquaint myself with the place...
blog on!
|
|
|
17
Comments
|
|
Bin Laden Limericks
|
Posted:May 14, 2011 9:07 pm
Last Updated:May 16, 2011 9:39 pm
43120 Views
|
Hello BlogLanders! Welcome to The Venting Blog where we are featuring a few Bin Laden inspired Limericks. Enjoy!
Osama, he thought he was canny.
He rode through the hills dressed like granny.
The Americans came, saw through all the fame,
and discovered he was Pakistani!
There once was a terrorist bastard.
Whose photo was everywhere plastered.
When finally found, his hopes were all drowned,
For his enemy had in the end mastered.
Bin Laden gave real bad advice.
The virgins he promised weren't nice.
His bombers soon found, that to Hell they were bound,
and that demons controlled paradise!
If it pleases you, enter your own limerick inside!
As always,
blog on!
|
|
|
5
Comments
|
|
Beware Of Nature II
|
Posted:Aug 19, 2010 8:22 pm
Last Updated:Apr 26, 2013 9:20 pm
45171 Views
|
Whenever one goes out into the wild it is wise to watch out for danger. This copperhead was waiting under the rock right next to where the path from the forest comes out at the top of the waterfall.
We blundered right by him and plopped down for lunch on the rocks about 15 feet below. Imagine my surprise when I looked back up and saw him there.
No biggie. I was perfectly fine with sharing the view with him. From a reasonable distance of course.
So, do any of y'all have a snake tale to share? Are you opposed to the very idea of snakes, or do you pay em no never mind?
For danger of a different nature, please see BEWARE OF NATURE.
blog on!
|
|
|
10
Comments
|
|
To link to this blog (keithcancook) use [blog keithcancook] in your messages.
|
|
|
| Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
| |
|
1
|
2
|
3
|
41
|
5
|
6
|
7
|
8
|
9
|
10
|
11
|
12
|
13
|
14
|
15
|
16
|
17
|
18
|
19
|
20
|
21
|
22
|
23
|
24
|
25
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
29
|
30
|
|
|
|
|
